Who Am I?

Eric, who wrote about the Newbery Awards in the most recent post on this blog, has been urging me to start blogging again.

It's difficult, because my confidence in myself and my writing is non-existent at the moment. I'm suffering from ongoing issues, including horrible anxiety attacks and massive, crushing depression. I've lost all joy in the things I used to love, to the degree that I literally haven't read the last few months of Aquaman comics. If you know me, you know that's something that I managed to hold on to through all my other depressive episodes, so it's very difficult for me now to admit that I can't even enjoy my comics. Even reading older comics has been difficult.

So I'm not sure what to write about.

I have been applying for jobs, but either my lack of confidence is showing through in everything I write or the market for writers like me is saturated. Probably both.

When I'm not looking for work, I've been playing the DC Universe Online video game, which has kept me tethered to the world. Ironically enough, as it's set in a fictional universe. I suppose running around as a hero and actually having a positive impact makes up for my frustration and helplessness in real life. It also feels good to beat the crap out of bad guys, even if those bad guys are just pixels.

Because of this, my life consists of job searching (which I don't want to write about), Inkwell the cat's antics (which people are probably sick of) and DCUO (which will bore most folks to tears). So I'm not really sure what I ought to be writing about on the blog.

I guess I'll just have to start reading comics again. I've got two large stacks I need to get through, and a new shipment just arrived the other day.